


Only one of You

by thegriffin88



Series: Handler Chronicles [3]
Category: Dark Avengers (Comic), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: A brother/sister relationship based on lack of smell and insults, Age of Apocalypse, AoA Kurt is scary kurt, Daken is a fashion whore, Gen, Misuse of marine life, The brutal death of a Stark Pad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 08:23:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14304699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegriffin88/pseuds/thegriffin88
Summary: After the incident between Nightcrawler and The Blob, Handler crawls on over to Madripoor and onto the couch of an old friend. (The Handler series has its own timeline so if there are errors, it's intentional. Do you buy that? Please buy that it's hard to keep all this straight.)





	Only one of You

The second Daken enters the pent house, he can smell the familiar intruder. He can also hear an object whirling towards him. With barely a thought, he’s caught it with his claws. As the haze of surprise fades he realizes that the smoking, sparking remains of a Stark Pad are stuck to the end of them. He shakes the device off and looks towards the couch; he already knows who’s here.

                “How do you keep getting in here?” he asks.

                “A magician never reveals their secrets!” Handler smirks.

                Daken rolls his eyes and makes a disgusted sound. “You had your Ex Slingring you in here? Really?”

                “It’s not like I can just walk on into Madripoor.” she replies.

                “Except that you have no way out of here now.” the mutant replies

                He walks over to the bar and starts pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

                “What I have you. Ooh, get me a glass?” Handler pipes up.

                “Would have thought you’d help yourself.”

                “Tony and Victor are the only people I try that with.” the agent admits.

                Daken comes over to the couch with two glasses of neat, top-shelf whiskey. Handler clinks her glass with his and takes a swig of it. Before he even get to his own glass she’s flopped down with her head in his lap.

                “Watch it! This is a three-hundred dollar shirt!” he snaps.

                “Only three-hundred? What is it laundry day?” Handler replies.

                Daken snorts, taking a sip of his drink. “So why the hell are you here drinking my booze and taking up my couch?” he growls.

                “I’m scared of Kurt.” Handler says with a deep frown.

                “Kurt? You mean Nightcrawler? I thought you two were ‘besties’.” Daken says with a sneer.

                “Wait…you really don’t know?” Handler asks.

                “Unlike you, unless it concerns me I don’t really give a shit about what people are doing.”

                Handler dives under the couch and comes back up with another Stark Pad.

                “You had a backup. Clearly I’ve known you too long; I’m not even surprised.”

                “The first one was a decoy actually; really wanted to see if you’d catch it with your claws.” Handler replies, tapping away on the screen. “These should get your jollies off…or not, Lester would like it that’s for sure.”

                Daken lets out a warning growl at the mention of Bullseye’s real name and takes the pad. The images were something out of a cheap teen slasher film. Red coating just about every surface and a pulpy mess in the middle of the floor with a…

                “Is that a fin? Handler what the ever living fuck is this shit? You saying that blue freak had something to do with this?”

                “It’s a shark.” Handler responds, giving a knowing grin when Daken returned an incredulous look. “Yeah.” then her face fell. “The Blob. He killed Kitty and…and Kurt teleported a shark inside him for it. Great White to be exact.”

                Daken raises an eyebrow and looks at the photo again.

                “I thought my friend was back but…this isn’t my Kurt and I just…I just need a bit to decompress this.”

                “And you came to me?”

                “Weirdly enough you’d get this more than Victor, and it’s not just being a mutant it’s…I dunno. I guess seeing you kind of object to all that carnage makes me feel better. Somehow. Plus it’s winter in Latveria and the castle doesn’t do much in the way of insulation unless you’re wearing a full suit of armor I guess.” Handler says, lying back down and this time gently curling up next to Daken. “You’re okay with letting me crash here, right? We’re still friends?”

                Daken tosses the Stark Pad on the coffee table and leans back, draining the rest of his glass. “Yeah, I guess.”

                Handler smiles. “Knew they broke the mold when they made you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't had a chance to reference it on this site but Handler actually has no sense of smell because of a botched tonsillectomy so Daken's pheromones don't work on her. It's why she was so useful to Osborne in the Dark Avengers arc where they first met. 
> 
> Age of Apocalypse Kurt Wagner, a.k.a. Nightcrawler, scared the ever living fuck out of Handler for as long as he was in the 616. She and original Kurt were best buds when she was the S.H.I.E.L.D. liason for Xavier's school because she's fluent in German and they just bonded. Many hugs were exchanged, a tail was only pulled once. ("I just wanted to see...") 
> 
> After both the Civil War and Dark Avengers arcs Handler remains friends with Daken enough that he won't kill her on sight. She calls him a 'Fashion Whore' and he keeps telling her he could kill her in a snap. (He would never.) After the incident with the Blob she crashes at his place for a weekend and Daken lets her be cuddly because Handler's 'superpower' is that people end up liking her because she doesn't stop until they do. But even still her relationship with Daken is nothing like her's with Victor. 
> 
> For example: Daken gets a slap on the ass, Victor gets hugs.
> 
> Daken/Handler is more like Brother/Sister (Not counting Laura) whereas Handler/Victor is weirdly platonic. The kind of weird where they have both taken turns falling asleep on one another's shoulders. (She had to stop Natasha from Snapchatting it. Snapchat is still relevant in Handler's world because I said so.)


End file.
